random life

 Falling in love is easy.
But staying in love is what counts.

 It happened again. I saw Chirstian Bradley.
 This time it was in a store. Once i saw him my stomach started tickling, and my heart lifted.
I walked his way, and discretely whispered 'Hi Bradley..'.
He looked up and saw me, but didnt recognize me, since my hair is shorter, but replied hi when he saw who I was.

HIs voice made me smile. I don't know why, I just felt my lips curve upwards.
 He was with his mom, I was with mine. So we couldn't say anything else.

I felt like crying when we walked away. I saw him again, in the cashier's. But didn't say anything. I tried hard not to stare. Or cry.

 When I walked out of the store, I felt a terrible pain. Maybe not so strong. But strong enough. I missed him.

He was my friend. Almost my best friend. And after a while, I started to care too much about him. Then I started liking him. And from there.... i dont know..

 I thought I liked Jose Perez... I think i still do... but Im not very sure.
 I smile, and blush, and feel happy when hes around. But its not the same as Bradley.

I think its because I was closer to Bradley... Perez and I are friends, but not as close.
Haha, I call them both by their last name..never noticed....

But Im very confused right now..and I dont know what to do..think..or say...

Perez knows that I like him... but do i really like him..or is it a crush.. or just a simple attraction?
What about Bradley? Everytime I see him.. my world just flies... and when hes gone.. I feel utterly alone for some time..like now..
Is it the same with Perez?

It just gets more and more confusing..so I'll stop here...

I really need to understand... I'll sort this out...

I want to love somebody.
Honestly, unconditionally.
Even if Im not loved back.

It sounds simple, I know, but why..

Why does it hurt so much?

I have to know who it is who I really like..or love..

I have to know.
Even if it hurts